Had A Break-up or Divorce – What Now?

Have you recently had a break-up or divorce? I’m so sorry to hear that.

So, what to do now?

 Here are a few tips on How to recover from the pain of your break-up or divorce.



Yes, it’s okay to take some time to mourn your loss. But I’m sure you must have seen it coming, yes?

Well, in my case, I did see it coming. When all I planned with my ex suddenly started disappearing one by one, I knew our marriage was heading for the rocks. But could I have done something to stop it falling off the cliff, maybe. But did I have any energy left to fight for a broken love-relationship, which I had been saving for over 20 years, simply by being non-dramatic, a constant forgiver, and crying in my bed, etc? No, I had had enough. So, I asked for the divorce.

But when the break-up moment did arrive, I was devastated and I cried a lot. Why was I crying?

– I felt totally let down by my ex.

-I felt that I let myself down

-I felt really bad for my children being let-down by me and my ex-husband

 -And I felt like I would never be able to cope with life on my own 

-And so on and so forth!

Yes, it’s okay to cry. You are human. Whatever you do, don’t over-do it.

Remember, getting divorced is not the end of your life, nor is it the end of your world. 

Millions of people in this world are also in your position. 

You are not alone! What matters is how well you cope with your unfortunate situation.


The crying period should now give way to the period when you take stock of your life – the life you have now.

Your Finances: How can you cope financially? If you got a cut from your husband’s wealth, great. So, maybe having enough money to look after your financial needs is not a problem. But what if you didn’t get any money from your husband, after the divorce, like me? How will you cope?

 Make sure you get a job as soon as possible. 

If you already have a job, great. Do everything you can to stay professional. 

Never tell people at work what you are going through. It would make you seem weak and even unprofessional. You will also be giving your Colleagues the opportunity to gossip about you.

You can tell your best friend, if you have one, so, you have someone to console you or listen to your moans once in a while. All the same, remember that your friend has his or her own problems to cope with, so, don’t over-do anything! We humans tend to respect people who can cope with difficult situations better than we respect “constant moaners”! Besides, your work-place is a WORK-PLACE not a place for broken hearts to moan about their private lives. 

Your boss expects you to stay professional whatever is happening in your private life. He expects you to perform at your best to help produce excellent results!

What About Child-Care?

Do you have a young child or young children?

If yes, to be able to keep a job, you will need some child-care arrangement. In my case, I hired a Child-Minder who lived near us, and was able to go to my teaching job knowing that my 3-year old girl was safe while I worked. The Child-minder took her to her Nursery school, brought her back around 1 pm and looked after her until I got back from work around 3 pm. You could do the same if you are able to afford the payment.

What to Tell Your Children?

Remember that the marriage was between you and your husband. Your children are simply products of your marriage. They were not married to your husband. Yes, they may have seen or heard you and your husband quarreling, yelling at each other or even fighting! Yes. But they were not directly involved in your pain – as children, they don’t understand why you and their Dad are always arguing or being nasty towards each other. Your children just want to be loved by their Mum and Dad. So, you must not make them take sides with you. It is so tempting to tell them about all the wrongs you believe your husband has done to you. To what good? The children would probably listen to you out of simple respect, but would they take sides with you? No, they won’t. Your children will continue to blame you and their Dad for breaking up the sense of security in their own lives.

 So, speak to your children about how things will get better for them in the near future. 

Relationship With Dad

As much as you can, give their father access to your children, so as to create the sense of continuity of love,

do whatever you must to protect your children from continued harm. Also arrange for Dad to take your children out at the times agreed by you both. This not only makes the children happy and stable in their emotions, it also frees sup some time for you to do something else with your time – like attending a social event, catching up on work, or just chilling out!


Join a Meet-up Group or any Other Social Supportive Group.

You can easily rise over your break-up pain if you join a like-minded group, say, on Meet-Up.
I wouldn’t suggest dating straight away because your emotions are still all over the place. 
Having a group of people who have similar interests with you will help you begin to look away from your 
pain and see other people’s points of view.You will be providing yourself with a wider field to share your expertise and feel valued and valuable.


You may feel that you can handle your break-up issues alone. Yes, so I felt, in my time. But many years after, I was still getting terribly angry over the issues that culminated in my break-up with my ex-husband. The pain remained, even though, in the background. It just didn’t go away!
The only thing that helped me heal was when I hired a Coach. I was first referred to a Counsellor. 
My sessions with that Guy made me even more miserable. Why, because Counsellors tend to just take you back to the past
 – encouraging you to remember what caused the pain etc. All that did was make me feel stuck in the past! 
But I desperately wanted to move on, forge a new path for myself, even find new love! So, counselling didn’t work for me. 

However, when I hired a Coach, she helped me to do do the following:

 – Get over my anger and frustrating emotions.

– She enabled me to forgive myself – whatever part I played in the break-up

– Forgive my ex-husband by a special letting-go exercise

– Count my blessings from the marriage and be grateful

– Be thoroughly and genuinely grateful for my life, my children’s life and my ex-husband’s life

– To remember that neither I nor my ex are perfect – we are all only human.

–  Write down all the things I did well in my marriage 

– Write down all the mistakes I made during my marriage and see how I can act differently going forward

And so many more healing techniques that enabled me to get out of the rot my break-up caused, so I could move on and be happy again.

And, I am happy again because I am very happily re-married! 

You too can heal, rebuild your life and be happy – whatever happiness means to you! 
I can help you overcome your pain, because I’ve been there and done it, as they say.


I am ready and well-equipped to Help You recover from your pain and rebuild your life for the better! 

All my life experiences, my people-empowering skills as an Outstanding Head teacher, my Coaching experiences since 2008 when I first qualified as an NLP Practitioner, and my many certifications as a Transformation Master Coach, will come in handy too. My approach is unique. 

I get rapid results for my clients! Check out my many testimonials of excellent results by my clients here.

I can’t wait to help you regain your happiness and love of life!

Click the link below to book your Free Discovery Session With Me.


Chat soon.