Remove Your Ex from Your Life.

Now that you have gotten rid of the worst part of the pain you have felt from the loss of your relationship, what next?

You now to look at your circumstances critically and see what you need to do to avoid letting the shadow of your Ex haunt you and stop you from moving on.

1. Stop Talking About Your Ex to Anyone – Not Even to Your Friends.

One way to remove the control that your Ex still has on you is to make a deliberate effort to stop talking about him/her to your friends. If any of your friends brings up the topic, just let them know you would rather talk about yourself and not your Ex. 

Just say politely:

“Oh, I’m over him/her now. So, do not bring this topic up again with me. Thanks for your concern. Let’s talk of something more interesting and useful to me”.

 Then switch the conversation to something more relevant to how you are moving on.

2. Remove Photos of Your Ex from View.

Take down all family or Couple photos that have your Ex in them. These photos will keep reminding you of your Ex and the pain he/she caused you, so, hide them away. You should also hide or throw away anything else that visibly reminds you of your Ex – clothes, favourite mugs, etc.

3. Rebuild Your Self-Confidence & Self-Esteem.

It is often difficult to rebuild your confidence after you have “failed” in a relationship.

People often feel that the failure of the relationship is due to them “not being good enough”, or “not attractive enough”, “not sex-smart enough”, “not beautiful or handsome enough”, “not smart enough” and so on and so forth!

Those assumptions are totally wrong, and you must not belittle yourself or your abilities, just because the person you thought loved you has now failed you and left you.

 In fact, if your Ex is anything like my Ex, he/she would go the extra length of trying to “knock down your self-esteem” by telling you that you are not worthy of anyone’s love: because – “You are too old, or too short, or too tall, or too fat, or too thin, not intelligent enough,  etc”. Or whatever comes into their heads!

Don’t let that deter you. Your Ex is simply suffering from an inferiority complex, because he/she is also feeling that they failed, even though they will never admit it to you.

Go out there and join a Group of People who are similar in age, education, profession etc. These will be people who will value your opinions and reach out to you if they need advice. People like that will make you feel wanted and appreciated. You can find various groups on Meetup or Google. Just search for what will suit you best and join that group. If you are religious, your Spiritual friends will also be a good group to mix with, as long as they are not judgemental.

You can also join a Volunteering Service. It’s widely acknowledged that when you give your time to help people for free, their appreciation of your service and your person will help to boost your self-confidence massively. It will also increase your self-worth and self-esteem.

Need more help?