HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.
Below are just of a few of the signs that you are living with an abuser. Don’t wait until you are nearly dead before seeking help! Statistics in the UK shows that two women are killed by their partners every single week.
If your partner has a sly way of making you conform to their wishes even if you had said “No” a few times to that request.
If your partner is IN CHARGE of most aspects of your life – finances, recreational outings, where you can or cannot go, what you cook for dinner, what your children can or cannot do when he is around, etc.
Aggressive Financial Control.
If you constantly have to seek permission from your partner before you can buy anything for yourself. For example, if you are always required to produce receipts for your expenditures, even such simple things as buying a cup of coffee or tea, etc.
Walking on Egg-Shells.
If you are constantly being very careful not to offend your partner as every little thing you do irritates him or her, so much so that you have to explain your actions or be made to feel really stupid for what you have done.
Constantly being patronised and belittled.
If your partner says or does things that make you fee like you are “stupid” and or that you need to “do better”, etc, so much so that you feel “small” most of the time and he/she needs to be your “guide”, or else you would “go wrong”, etc.
Physical, Verbal or Sexual Violence.
Your alarm bells should start ringing when your partner is being physically violent, verbally violent (e.g. shouting so loud you feel disorientated) or sexually violent – making you do things that he knows will hurt you sexually and yet continuing to do it even when you said “No” or asked him to “Stop”.
That’s just a few of the signs that you are in an abusive relationship. I’m sure you can add to the list from your own experiences.
No one should remain in an abusive relationship. It is not only dehumanising, it can be fatal.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU FEEL UNSAFE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
Check out any Domestic Abuse Charity near you and file a report when it is safe for you to do so.
If you feel you are in real danger, call:
REFUGE – on the National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 24-hour Helpline: 0808 2000 247.
If you need help tackling any of the issues raised in this article, please get in touch with me.
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