Spending This Coming Christmas Alone?
ARE YOU SPENDING THIS CHRISTMAS ALONE?
Sometimes, life does not quite work out as well as you planned it! Maybe, you recently had a breakup, and this is the first Christmas since that happened?
Maybe, you still miss your Ex?
Well, that’s to be expected. He/she might also be missing you; you never know.
Do you have children and will need to share their time with your Ex?
That can sometimes be difficult! But, it has to be done – remember your Ex is also part of your children and the children have a right to hang out with their parents at this time of the year. So, accept it, as sometimes, that is good and necessary. But make sure to plan it, and let things be on your terms, if you can.
If your breakup is still quite recent, your emotions may be going all over the place.
Here are a few coping strategies to help you handle your overwhelming negative emotions during this period.
Identify what triggers your negative emotions – and when they are most triggered. Perhaps it is the mention of his name? If it is your Ex’s full name that makes you angry or makes you weep, then change his name from say, Peter, or Pete to “My Ex.” or to a little -“p”. Minimize his influence on you, by minimizing his name! Tell your friends never to use his first name to you anymore – in fact, they should never bring him up in a conversation with you, because he is “GONE!”.
Well, try it – see how it makes you feel.
Become Self-Reliant and take Back Control of Your Own Life.
Have you always depended on your Ex for a lot of things? For example, bringing things down from the tops of cupboards? If yes, buy yourself a step-ladder and carefully learn to climb on the ladders to get what you want.
Think of all the things he/she used to do for you and find a way to do them by yourself. This may seem like a small thing, but by doing things by yourself for yourself, you are learning to become self-reliant. It will accelerate your ability to take back the control of your own life.
What New Things Can You Learn to Do Now that You Couldn’t Do Before?
In most relationships, there is often some control from your partner.
– “Don’t wear that dress, it doesn’t suit you!”
– “That hair style makes you look “cheap!”
– “Why did you paint your nails red? Only flirtatious women do that!”
– “Why do you want to learn to play tennis? I imagine it’s because you want to meet new men?”
And so on and so forth!
Those were simple controlling tactics that you have had to endure!
There are many new things you can learn now that you have full control of your life.
So, instead of crying over spilt milk, why not start looking forward to what nice and beautiful things you can spend your time learning, or doing, so that you can have a happier and more fulfilling life?
Focus on Moving Forward Positively With Your Life.
Yes, you can focus on moving on with your life in a very positive way. Be grateful for what you have right now, instead of moaning over what you have lost or the things you don’t have.
If you need help moving forward positively with your life, after a breakup or a divorce, I’m here to help. “A problem shared is a problem halved”!
Visit my website https://drgraceanderson.com to request a Free Coaching Session
Wishing you happiness, now and always!